Bye girls :(

Hope you guys are in for a laugh cause its been a day. First, I saw my Oncologist in Macon, Dr. Cheryl Jones at 9 followed by Brian and I having a fertility appointment (more on that) then getting some bad news at 4.

So here's the day. At Doctor's Jones's office see a very important person to help get through this. She is an old friend's mother who I see myself being like. She is a very strong, powerful, and nothing gets in her way. She fought the battle 4 years ago. It was a relief today seeing her breeze through there like it was Kroger or something. I was called back we all talk about my treatment at I mention early, I start Chemo on March 19 at 11:20. To be honest I am scared to death. its going to be a long year.

Many of you wanted to know my results of the genetic test of BRAC 1 or BRAC 2. Well the lab in Neveda has the test and called last night and left this message like they had the results and for me to call back. Mom is panicing wanting me to call the place at 7 our time this morning, I trying to tell her they are Mountain time and its only 4 in the morning there time I highly dout there is someone there waiting on my phone call! What do you think I did???? I called to make her happy.......I called 12 more times, left 3 messages all before my first appointment this morning. Needless to say all the needed was the actually OK to run the test. Which now I will not know anything for 3 more whole weeks!

After leaving that Dr. Jones, we meet Brian at my house to meet up to head to Atlanta to see the infamous Fertilitly Doctors. Brian being so nervous managed to lock his keys in the Jeep and therefor can not get them out. After stressing and freaking out we decided to take my mom's car.

We get to Crawford Long Emory Hospital which looks like the Ritz Carlton's of hospitals. 18th floor we go Mom, Brian, and myself. Walking in to the waiting room Brian and I both knew this was going to be weird. I signed in and sat down watching these poor women wanting, trying so hard to get pregant and I am there with my boyfriend and mother feeling so out of place. I have to fill out paperwork with the nurse and she kept asking me question about my "husband" when I said "oh I don't have one" I kinda got that look of "why are you here?" So then I had to tell my story and that I was sent to see the doctor because of my age what all where my options of trying to save my eggs blah blah blah. Let me tell you filling out that paperwork can tell all kinds of info about your "partner" as they called him! (Nothing bad was there!)

The Doctor came in and said oh you just need to have inferto. We were like slow down no diamonds, no house, one income, and one dog. We are no where near babies. They told of how the process goes. In terms for everyone to understand, its like this. Brian would give me a shot (everyone should stop reading a know that is not going to happen!) every 3 days for the next 3 weeks and then they would collect my eggs, his sperms and BAM make a baby and freeze our 50 or children in rent freezer for $300 a year until we decide to have on 3 children. Our hearts are not in the mind set of loosing 48 children. All in All the process from start to finish would be around $10,000 which is way to expense just to birth a baby. We won't have money to cloth it, feed it, God forbid something breaks on it and we need a doctor! We will try to have children on our own, if that does not work then we will adopt.

For there we head up to my Dr. in Buckhead. She drops the ball on me. My Breast MRI was not good. It shows that my cancer has literally ate my whole left breast and after 6 months of treatment both girls will come off. I will have reconstruction done that day. Dr. Amerson told not to think of cancer but that I am simply getting an amazing boob job with a tummy tuck. Which I am happy about. I can take that.

I am just sick to my stomach to think this is really happening to me. I will really be getting a boob job, wow.

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